Katharine, Audrey and Grace: All 3 were different, but each was ideal just as she was.
All too often when we step in front of the mirror, we’re seeing what is “wrong” with our bodies: too big, too small, too much of this, not enough of that. Where is that internal critic coming from? How do we know what “right” is in order to compare ourselves against it and come up “wrong”?
We’ve absorbed some internal idea of an ideal body shape, we’re using it as our template, and we’re judging any part of ourselves that doesn’t match. Now, you and I both know that the problem with comparing your body to some other ideal is that those ideals aren’t always attainable. This way lies body issues, and all the negative psychological and physical implications of them.
But comparing yourself to some impossible ideal is only half of the problem. The other half is that they’re a myth in the first place.
Because what is the ideal body shape anyway? Which ideal are we talking about?
- Lean and lithe Audrey Hepburn?
- Boyish, athletic Katharine Hepburn?
- Curvy Marilyn Monroe or Christina Hendricks?
- Amazon Cindy Crawford?
- Waifish Kate Moss?
- Skinny but buxom Victoria’s Secret models?
- Muscular, no-body-fat Olympic swimmers?
Audrey Hepburn was no less beautiful because she wasn’t the same shape as Marilyn Monroe.
You’re no less beautiful for not being the same shape as some imaginary ideal.
(You know what men’s ideal body shape is for a woman? Female. No really–they just don’t care the way we think they do. Sure, they’d love it if Giselle Bundchen decided to leave Tom Brady for them, but they’re hardly saving themselves for her in the meantime, are they?)
Dress and love the body you have. Flatter your silhouette; don’t try to change it or wish it away.
The only ideal body shape is your own.
What do you think?
- Do you compare yourself against an ideal?
- Why or why not?
- Do you think ideals are harmful or useful goals?
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I don’t think I necessary compare myself against an ideal…..tho I know I do get “jealous” of those who I think have perfect bodies (Jennifer Anniston, Brooklyn Decker).
I’m not perfectly happy with a lot of things with my body lately…..I’m heavier than I have been in a long time but I am having trouble finding the time and energy to exercise.
I hate my current short haircut but know it will take time and patience to grow it out.
I hear you! It’s hard not to look at women like that and wish to have their rockin’ bods. But you have to keep in mind that a lot of that is genetics, and there’s no more point comparing yourself to someone who was born with that body type than it is to feel bad about being born with brunette hair and comparing yourself to a natural blonde.
And the part that isn’t genetics is a lot of money and a private gym full of personal trainers!
very very very true!
I feel like my body insecurities aren’t derived from other people or celebs but more from criticizing certain aspects of myself eg. i wish my legs were longer, i wish my butt was perkier. great article!
- lamodequivole.blogspot.com
And yet I’m sure your legs are perfectly fine exactly as they are! Rather than focus on the things you can’t change, enjoy and embrace the beauty of you. There are lots of fun ways to wear clothes to make your legs appear a little longer without having to change your true self.
This post is so true, how do we define what’s ideal when there are so many ideals. Ultimately every woman has to embrace what makes her body the ideal body shape for her.
I think what is popular in society at the moment has a big impact on what body types are deemed ideal.
Thanks, Fajr! I agree–ideals are constantly changing. Yet another reason it’s so important to focus on what makes *you* ideal.